Back to school

When the water comes inexplicably pouring out of your nose, that's the elephant trick, according to my dad. I have always hated it. It used to happen the most when we were playing somersaults in the pool, or during any kind of watery japes I suppose. Why am I thinking about this now?

Well, I have taken myself back to school. Swim school. I have been open water swimming for three years now and not once have I put my face in that lake. I had never done it in a pool either. To me, goggles were a piece of kit reserved for the mildly insane and Olympians. Me, I'm the one at the lake swimming with my head up, very slowly, sometimes with a bobble hat on. Always with my ears covered up.

But I'd always harboured a desire to go faster. To learn to swim properly. To get round the 1km loop in less than my steady 45 minutes. To get my heart rate up. To go further when the water is colder and I know I only have 20 minutes before hypothermia threatens. So, I reflected on the many seasons that I have been procrastinating about this as I swam around the lake in the sunshine. The water was clear. The temperature was well over twenty degrees both in the water and out of it. And I had spied the swim instructor on the shore. 

I had an extra long shower to give myself plenty of opportunity for doubt to creep in, for the instructor to leave, for my fear to win again. 

Fast forward a week and I have never swallowed so much lake water, had so much water coming out of my nose, or been so close to tears in one of my favourite happy places. What on earth was I doing? My swimming time was always my meditation, and now here I am reduced to a spluttering eejit with a fear of drowning. I have to add that these were the thoughts on one of my practice swims, and not with the instructor who was incredibly patient with me. We were both surprised how much progress I made in that first lesson, not least because he had to cajole me to even put the goggles on!

I was inexplicably afraid of the whole process. I became very aware of my ability to get in a stew, to be mean to myself, to want to give up, that I have used all of my Zen to talk myself down, to remain calm, to breathe in this new way, that after one week I am actually swimming with my head in the water. Yay!

I have been amazed at how I have been able to self soothe when panic has crept in, to be methodical and know that my 'I'm going to drown if I breathe the wrong way' thoughts were just that. Thoughts. (It helped that when I did take a huge gasp of air when in fact my head was in the water, that my survival instincts just kicked in, I did not drown, and I lived to tell the tale. Very reassuring).

According to my teacher Richard, I am going to be aquadynamic by Christmas! A good deal of water came out of my nose when he said that, and I was unable to explain why it amused me so. Still, I am all in, (literally!) and I will let you know how I get on. Kindness dial switched to high and the next lesson booked for Tuesday.